redleggedfrog 3 days ago

As my buddy from Oracle likes to say, "No one cares what we do as long as the flow of streak, coke, and strippers doesn't stop."

He's a big Zed Shaw fan.

5
legitster 2 days ago

Anytime Oracle is brought up is a great time to repost the famous Lawnmower quote:

> "As you know people, as you learn about things, you realize that these generalizations we have are, virtually to a generalization, false. Well, except for this one, as it turns out. What you think of Oracle, is even truer than you think it is. There has been no entity in human history with less complexity or nuance to it than Oracle. And I gotta say, as someone who has seen that complexity for my entire life, it's very hard to get used to that idea. It's like, 'surely this is more complicated!' but it's like: Wow, this is really simple! This company is very straightforward, in its defense. This company is about one man, his alter-ego, and what he wants to inflict upon humanity -- that's it! ...Ship mediocrity, inflict misery, lie our asses off, screw our customers, and make a whole shitload of money. Yeah... you talk to Oracle, it's like, 'no, we don't fucking make dreams happen -- we make money!' ...You need to think of Larry Ellison the way you think of a lawnmower. You don't anthropomorphize your lawnmower, the lawnmower just mows the lawn, you stick your hand in there and it'll chop it off, the end. You don't think 'oh, the lawnmower hates me' -- lawnmower doesn't give a shit about you, lawnmower can't hate you. Don't anthropomorphize the lawnmower. Don't fall into that trap about Oracle." - Bryan Cantril

pedrocr 2 days ago

You elided the most famous quote from that diatribe. The lawnmower comparison is the expansion on:

"Do not fall into the trap of anthropomorphizing Larry Ellison"

userbinator 2 days ago

Indeed it's hard to explain how he can be 80 years old and look like this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Larry_Ellison_-_American_...

LargoLasskhyfv 2 days ago

Botox, DHEA, collagen, plastic surgery...

csomar 2 days ago

He is starting to look more and more like Donald Trump.

A4ET8a8uTh0_v2 2 days ago

To be fair to Oracle: the lawnmower doesn't hate people... yet. This millennium is still young. And we keep adding connectivity and llms into everything.

ibejoeb 2 days ago

"Everyone Else Must Fail" is a good read.

xdavidliu 2 days ago

what's "streak"? do you mean steak?

bityard 2 days ago

I thought it was some kind of trendy alcohol that I hadn't heard of, that probably comes in a brown bottle

marcosdumay 2 days ago

You can search for that word definition.

rr808 2 days ago

The problem is the people who have to use Oracle aren't the ones getting the steak or strippers.

Aeolun 2 days ago

Isn’t that a feature?

keyle 2 days ago

"Oracle, where the Sun don't shine no more."

FlyingSnake 2 days ago

I’m sorry but I don’t get this Zed Shaw reference, what did I miss?

decompiled_dev 2 days ago

He's a popular blogger: https://zedshaw.com/

bigiain 2 days ago

Weapons grade infinte snark, probably.

He seems to have stopped blogging a few years back. I kinda miss his epic rants and Learning $whatever The Hard Way stuff. Part of me hopes them and whoever used to run n-gate moved to Portland and are now running a bespoke hand made piano business together or something.

Philpax 2 days ago

I suspect that Zed and the n-gate author would not get along, given how ~~insufferable~~ opinionated the former is.