alwa 4 days ago

People respond to me that way sometimes, and it always confuses me. I’ve already addressed everything that I know or believe that you want. I’m asking “any questions” or “anything I missed?” out of humility, because I know I may have done an incomplete job of satisfying your questions since my mental model of your perspective is incomplete.

I’m asking “any questions” as an invitation or an offer—it feels weird and vaguely hostile when my conversation partner rebuffs that offer like that.

(Not that I take it in a mean spirit—like I said, more confusion than anything)

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_DeadFred_ 4 days ago

Good on you for expressing all the downsides/uncomfortable/so complicated you sometimes simplify bits. I have never been in a situation where I addressed every question in advance, and normally there are negatives that aren't flushed out. That's all I'm asking for. What uncomfortable thing aren't you saying, and is our relationship/discussion one where you are willing to volunteer them. I find it a sign it's not a strong discussion when people don't volunteer a real answer to my legitimate question.

Propelloni 4 days ago

"Anything I missed?" is better than "any questions?" but even better would be "what have I missed?" because it makes you question open and can't easily be answered with yes or no and therefore requires more engagement. I usually ask "what have I missed?" or, more often, "which questions do you have?" -- both require more than a silent treatment as an answer and the "which" question in particular is very open and invitational.

LouisSayers 4 days ago

I haven't presented for a while, but one thing I do is try to anticipate the questions people may have.

Then if I'm really prepared I'll have extra slides (if showing slides) that delves into the answers for those questions.

If you find people ask the "what should I be asking" question, you can make it a little humourous by having a slide prepared with that exact wording and delving into something you'd like to talk about.

siva7 4 days ago

Some people seem to think they are really clever by such rebuffs. I on the other hand just start wishing to never work with them again.