Are you kids turning up to school regularly and engaged in learning, and also learning to form healthy social connections in school and any extra-curricular activities? If the answer is yes, why worry about their grades? They’ll do fine in adulthood If the answer is no, worrying about grades isn’t going to fix the problem and potentially would even make it worse.
As a parent, I honestly do not understand other parents that get caught up on their kids grades. When you do that, what are you teaching them about their self-worth? What if they did their best and their best wasn’t good enough for your arbitrary standards… there’s honestly more to life. A lot more. Education is important, but so is their intrinsic happiness, and the things that bring them joy, and a sense of wellbeing. Not everyone is meant to be academic, and nor would we want everyone to be. There is plenty of opportunity in the world for people to excel in many different areas of life. If you teach your kids that all they should focus on in life is a grade on a piece of paper, you’re going to teach them a narrow view of what matters in life.
Do you think your child’s grades are a reflection of you as a parent? Or is there something you’re trying to prove to the world through your kids?
Your children are not an extension of you.
This, I can't agree more!
When I was attending school, I remember it to be more of a survival camp and adjustment to structures than anything else. I hated it with passion and yet I was expected to bring good grades. As a result I developed need for isolation and other psychological issues and it took me more than decade to realize and partially self-cure.
That's why I'm striving to give my kids happy childhood and schooling that they can enjoy. They learn to obtain knowledge and experiences, and not to game the system. I am not building safety cocoon around them, we do have crisis's and we go through them together, not ignoring them and pretending nothing happens. I know, that when they reach the age they will take initiative and assume responsibilities.
I wish my own parents were even half as farsighted as that, lol. What a refreshing take to hear! It's funny/interesting how different that attitude can be between families, depending on culture and individual beliefs.
For me, growing up in East Asia meant your entire self-worth was grades and academia and you're subhuman scum if you ever get an A-. If you get a B, you've disappointed the ancestors, and a C would've angered the heavens and cursed your family name for a hundred generations. Childhood wasn't meant to be a happy time, but a fierce competition that determines whether you have a shot in life, and by extension, whether you've lived up to your family's honor. Then once you're a teenager, it's time for a decade of college prep. Who has time for joy?
I much prefer the American model. Seems to produce happier, if not more productive, individuals.
I feel like every culture and subculture mostly does their own thing when it comes to raising kids, and I wish there were more comparative studies and borrowed best practices. Would be fascinating, if nothing else.
Cultural values play a big part in it, as well as just parenting in line with what they learned from their own parents was the correct way to parent.
I personally value people living authentically and having high levels of subjective wellbeing. Hence my opinion on the matter. However, my opinion is just that. Not everyone will agree that grades are not that important.